Conversation - Not my proudest post

Me: Maeve can you please go let the dogs in so Reese stops barking?
Maeve: No. I'm tired. And I want some peanut butter.
Me: Ok. Go let the dogs in and I'll get you some peanut butter.
Reese: Bark....... Bark......... Bark......... Bark.........
Me: Maeve. Please go let the dogs in!
Maeve: I can't! I can't get off this fucking couch!
Me: What!??!?!?
Maeve: I said, I can't get off this fluffing couch.
Me: Sigh.